yassin

A mother’s fear

August 8, 2008 /


While he was sleeping | pigment ink on moleskine

I normally didn’t remember all my dreams but this one dream that I had few weeks ago, never got out of my mind. It haunted me. Like crazy. It will probably never leave my mind forever. I lost my son in a train to somewhere and searched for him from coach to coach while crying. After quite a while searching high and low, I heard him screaming for help. I followed his voice and discovered that a bunch of kids hid him under their seats. I grabbed him and hugged him and told him not to leave my sight ever again. You see, he’s a very hyperactive child and could never stay still for a second (even in the dream). So when we got out of the train we were happily walking to the bus stop. When we were just about to cross the road, a car pulled over near us and a man grabbed my son. I tried to pull my son out of the car but I failed. I ran after the car and shouted my son’s name endlessly while crying and screaming for help. Nobody did ever came to our rescue and next thing I knew, I woke up with my face and pillow full of tears. But I was extremely happy when I saw my son sleeping safe and soundly. I told him about the dream the next day. He cried too listening to my scary dream. He scolded me for letting him go and made up story that he got out from the car by jumping out of the window on the other side. That night, before sleeping, he asked me to hold his hand very tightly and said, that way, nobody will ever took him away from me. He also told me he loves me very much and I cried, this time, in a pool of happy tears.


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22 Comments

  • mangosteenskin

    August 8, 2008 at 10:05 am

    what a scary dream and a heart-touching end.

    i remember when we’re small, my mother told me she dreamt that she lost my younger sister. she could not find her anywhere, and the only thing she found is a child organ (maybe heart) in a basket. in her dream, she cried becoz she knew the organ is my sister’s. that time the entire village had rumors of people hunting heads for sacrificial purpose. maybe she’s too worry about our safety because we walk about 2.5km to school everyday. all i knew, when my mother told me about her dream, i became scared and worry too. i quarrelled alot with my sister becoz she got more attention then, but i became very protective of her too. we never told her about the dream until today.

    to think back, perhaps such bad dream meant to give us lesson. not to take our loved ones for granted. we’re given the experience of losing them and even it’s only a dream, the feelings felt so real. maybe it’s a reminder, for us to be thankful of all we have in our life.

  • rizal

    August 8, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    luckily it was only a dream..

    i am sure, eventhough it was only a dream.. but it brought you closer and made you had a great time with yassin the next day.

    the only dreams that i am having lately, are all about hantu.. benci betul..urghh

  • emila

    August 8, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    Definitely, Manggis! I think it serves as a reminder to me to always take care of my only son.

    Thanks for sharing the story.

  • Mariuca

    August 8, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Emila, I love this post! I especially love the part where Yassin made up a happy ending for u and for him, dia tak nak separate from his mommy. So cute and pandai! Love this! And I dunno what the dream means but take care okay? 😛 😛

  • edna

    August 9, 2008 at 12:06 am

    gosh i had a nightmare (day time lagi tu!) of which i lost my husband. yipes that was pretty bad. this is my second time. first one was in an accident. hope it will not happen again.. 😥

  • mangosteenskin

    August 9, 2008 at 8:20 am

    mimpi hantu…memang memenatkan bila terjaga. my husband always say like this about mimpi hantu “heee…semalam mimpi hantu…sakit hati betul…dalam tidur pun penat…asyik lari sebab kena kejar hantu…” hahahahah.

  • dmystify

    August 9, 2008 at 11:50 am

    The ability to illustrate your inner feelings with a simple pen and paper is sure to relieve a bit of your anxiety. Its a reminder for us to be thankful to what we have been blessed with.

  • Shemah

    August 11, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    This post really moved me.. It almost brought ME to tears. Thank God it was only a dream. Couple of nights ago, I just jumped up and sat in bed because I couldn’t sense the feeling of my kids beside me. I was so relieved when I saw that they were on either side of me sleeping peacefully.

    I had a dream once when I was in a plane that was about to crash and my son was crying beside me and I was hugging him with all my might that I was able to save him and somehow I was outside the plane and he was still inside. The worst nightmare ever!! I woke up and hugged him so hard that he woke up crying.. I know how terrible that feels.

    Like Marzie, I don’t know what these dreams mean, and I just hope they don’t mean a thing. Do take care, Emila. Hugs and kisses to Yassin.. 🙂 He’s such a beautiful boy!

  • Jean Chia

    August 13, 2008 at 11:50 am

    emila, this is so touching! i almost cry. Yassin is such a good boy for making up the happy ending for you and holding your hand to sleep. 🙂 I would have cried too if anyone do the same thing like yassin did. He’s such a wonderful son!